For some reason it is almost a crime to have never been in a relationship. In the world red, yellow, and green flags, it is a bright red flag. Why am I being penalized for choosing myself over a relationship? Simply put, I do not have time to include another person into my life- I barley have time to see my friends and family!
It’s the age of the Independent hardworking women. I personally find that men only add more stress into my life. Don’t get me wrong, I am no Virgin Mary. I enjoy men, but I find that they can do nothing for me that I cannot do for myself- minus sex. Now, I do find it important to mention that I have only ever lived in two places. A small city in Upstate New York and a brief two years at a Quaker Boarding school in Philadelphia. I went to the boarding school in the midst of covid, so not much happened there. The small city I grew up in is full of piece of sh*t men.
Most of the guys here have never left and will never leave. They have never had the reality check they need to humble them. Most importantly, the majority listen to Andrew Tate. To say it simply, I hate them. There are some outliers who are nice men who don’t hate women, but their either short, taken, or have left.
In addition to my lack of exposure to new places, I am also 6’1. I grew up with tall women being with taller men. Unfortunately, I also love tall men. I think we can all agree tall men are the worst. Women want them and Men want to be them. Their egos are criminally large and their personalities are usually drier than the Sahara. Overall, I have a small dating pool filled with evil men.
I have tried the Engineers, the Gym Bros, the Finance Bros, and worst of all… the Athletes. I will say Engineers are the most agreeable. Usually they are a little socially awkward, but overall nice men. The Gym Bros and the Finance Bros can be lumped together because they tend to overlap into a hard no. I have yet to find one who is actually funny and they tend to bring out my worst traits. Last, and definitely least, are the Athletes. My experience is with basketball players, hockey players and baseball players. I have met some very nice baseball and hockey players. They are on the shorter side, but they usually are not cheaters. On the other hand, basketball players are the worst type of men. They are criminal cheaters. From the lowest level of Division I to the NBA, they see Women as sex dolls. For instance, one calls me the “Annoying bitch friend” because I told him he was f*ucking weird. Overall, aviod them at all costs.
Other than my limited dating pool and poor experiences with men… there are two more reasons. I recognize that I do have an ingrained hatred for men. I have many memories of my mother complaining what an awful husband my father is. Not that I agree, but it certainly gave me a negative predisposition of men. I have found myself usually picking guys who have questionable histories with women. So I then psychoanalyze them for any bad qualities and using that as excuse to leave. Usually, they aren’t nice guys, so I have no remorse if I hurt their feelings. I will say I don’t think this is the worst thing in the world. Looking at the current president of 2025, it is easy to deduct that many men my age also have an ingrained hatred for women. In my opinion, fair is fair in the patriarchy.
The last reason is my red flag, I have an avoidant attachment style. After some reflection I do realize that I am scared of abandonment. In my childhood, my emotional needs were not met. In my teenage years, I was severely let down by my alcoholic mother. In consequence, the thought of allowing another person to hurt me in the same way is unimaginable. My fear of intimacy makes one nights stands/flings, incredibly easy. I get what I want and then I never have to see them again. If I do chose to, we both know what were here for. This has benefited me by allowing me to fully focus on my career and education. But, I don’t know what to do to overcome this attachment style. It is an issue I am waiting to explore once I graduate and have the time.
I have my entire life to find love, so there is no rush. Why settle down when I don’t know where I’m going or even who I am. Single women are not unlovable, there is no issue with exploring you before exploring someone else. F*ck the patriarchy and f*ck anyone who thinks you need a man to make you happy. Cheers to singlehood and cheers to hating men!
Mara Unfiltered 